When Doves Cry
by HuddyJoy0524
Summary: Takes place after 3x05. Is Robert and Cora's marriage doomed or will they be able to forgive one another? Very much an ensemble piece with Carson/Hughes, MM, Cora/O'Brien, and Mary/Edith sprinkled throughout.


_I'm taking a break from my other fic to write this because I need it, I know you all need it, and because my poor brain needs this theorizing out of it before I drive myself insane. Hope this alleviates some anxiety and pain before Sunday's episode._

_Note: It's LONG but it's meant to be a one shot, that's why I didn't separate it. I hope this will not deter you from reading it!_

It was the silence. The deafening silence.

Violet couldn't stand it. She could handle screaming, crying, fighting. ANYTHING was better than this. She had moved into Downton temporarily to help with the funeral arrangements. But the funeral had been a week ago. She couldn't leave the household like this. She just couldn't.

She looked up from her plate around the table at her family. Mary and Matthew sat next to one another, saying nothing, though occasionally exchanging wary glances with each other. Edith hadn't looked up from her plate of food the entire evening and Branson hadn't shown up for dinner tonight at all. Robert was silently picking at his food and would occasionally glance over at the clock as if willing it to move faster. Cora just sat there, her eyes glazed over, staring at nothing. She had not touched her dinner. The fact that she even came down for dinner was a miracle.

"Carson please tell Mrs. Patmore that the duck is delicious" Violet finally spoke aloud. Startled slightly by someone speaking, Edith looked up from her plate.

"Yes, it's quite delicious" Matthew chimed in, his face registering relief that someone had chosen to spoke.

"I will m'lady" Carson nodded at her and bowed slightly. Carson had single-handedly served dinner the past three weeks. In fact, he had barely left Robert's side.

Cora stood up from the table suddenly and looked over at Carson. "I'm going to bed. Please tell O'Brien." She turned to go. She exited and Robert stood up and followed her out.

Violet exchanged a quick glance with Mary who registered pure misery on her face. Perhaps the only person as observant as Violet, Mary was acutely aware of her parent's estrangement and despite the young woman's ability to mask her feelings, her stoic exterior had fallen short as of late.

Violet looked over and noticed Robert say something briefly to his wife. He reached his hand out to touch hers but she withdrew it quickly and walked away. Violet visibly saw her son's shoulders slump as he turned to walk into the library. While Cora had spent most of her time in the bedroom, Robert had hardly left the library.

Violet stood up from the table. Enough was enough. Something had to be done.

DA

"There now. That's much better m'lady" O'Brien said and smiled at her mistress after fixing Cora's hair.

O'Brien had not been sleeping much the past three weeks, and her eyes had very visible dark circles. Every time she closed her eyes at night, Cora's face haunted hers. She sat at the kitchen table and snapped at anyone that attempted to make her move. She HAD to stay by the bell. What if Cora needed her?

"Thank you, O'Brien" Cora said with no feeling whatsoever. "You may go now." She stood up and walked over to the bed before sitting down on the edge to remove her slippers.

O'Brien stood there for another minute, unsure. Cora NEEDED her. Why wouldn't she ask for help? Why?

"What is it, O'Brien?" Cora asked again, as she pulled the covers back and slid under the covers.

"M'Lady…are you sure there is nothing else you need? I could bring you some bread and butter…"

"No, O'Brien that is quite alright I am not hungry." Cora sat back against the covers.

"But m'lady you've hardly eaten anything in weeks!" O'Brien exclaimed and she took a step towards Cora.

"O'Brien I would like to be alone now, please." Cora said, her tone of voice now one of annoyance.

O'Brien took a slight step back her face registering hurt. She nodded quickly and exited the room, nearly running into Robert on her way out.

Robert stepped aside and allowed her to walk by him before shutting the door. Cora didn't even look up at him. She picked up her book to read it.

"I thought that I might move back in here tonight" Robert said, standing awkwardly by the door.

"I think I'd rather sleep alone for awhile" Cora responded, staring down at the open book.

Robert nodded silently and turned to walk into his dressing room. He turned back around. "Cora, I…."

"I'm tired. I'm going to sleep." Cora reached over and switched the light off. Robert, now standing in the darkness, shut the door quietly behind him.

DA

"Darling there is nothing that you can do!" Matthew exclaimed to his pacing wife. "They're facing the death of their daughter!"

"They're tearing this family apart!" Mary cried. "They haven't spoken in weeks! I can't stand …" She stopped and turned to Matthew who could see the tears re-forming in her eyes.

He got up out of bed and walked over to her. "It's going to take time. They need time to heal. Please. Come to bed."

"I'm going to go take a walk around the house, I think" Mary went to go before turning back around and walking over to her husband. "You've been a perfect darling the past few weeks. You are wonderful." She smiled, a real smile, one of the few that he'd seen in weeks and he smiled back before kissing her briefly on the lips.

Mary left the room and shut the door quietly behind her. She wrapped her shawl around her shoulders a little tighter and tiptoed down the steps. She passed the door of the library to head for the kitchen when she heard deep guttural sounds coming from behind the door. Pausing for a second, she put her ear to the door before turning the knob slightly and opening the door.

Her father was sitting at his desk, still in his dinner attire, folded over. His head was in his hands and he was sobbing. Mary, in the nearly thirty years she had lived under the same roof as her father could count on her hand the times she'd seen him cry. But this. She had never heard him sound like this before.

"Papa," Mary walked over to the desk and put her hand on her father's shoulder. He stopped crying but didn't pick his head up from beneath his hands. "It's going to be alright." Mary kneeled next to the desk and put her hand on her father's knee.

He picked his head up and looked over at his daughter. "My dearest daughter" he put his hand over hers. "You don't hate me do you?"

"No!" Mary exclaimed. "How could I? Papa, I couldn't ever imagine hating you!" She put her hand over her father's.

He took them, put them up to his lips, and kissed them gently.

"I can't even imagine the pain that you must feel" Mary said quietly again. "But you must get some sleep or you will get ill."

Robert shook his head silently and pursed his lips to stop the tears. "I can't…" He shook his head, unable to continue for a moment. "I can't sleep without…" He shook his head again and looked down at his hands.

Mary could feel her eyes filling with tears again and she stood up. "Come on, Papa. You must try. You must try." She helped him to his feet and they walked out of the library. Carson was standing there, looking quite distraught.

"Carson will you please help my father get ready for bed?"

"Of course m'lady" Carson nodded and took Robert's hand and led him upstairs. Mary could not help it. She put a hand to her mouth to block out the sound of her sobs.

DA

Edith threw her feet over the side of the bed and stood up. She couldn't sleep. Which wasn't surprising. She doubted much sleep had happened in this house the past few weeks. She had run into countless members of the household in the kitchen knitting, reading the newspaper, just sitting. Sitting and staring at nothing. While the usual formalities were still abided by, when she went downstairs, all was the same. Class didn't seem to matter so much anymore.

Edith walked out of her bedroom and headed for the steps before nearly running headlong into Mary. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Oh, Edith" she said, another sob escaping her. Edith wrapped her arms around her sister and let her cry into her shoulder. Edith didn't think she could cry anymore. It was like…she was an old riverbed. All dried up.

Edith comforted her sister and let her cry. "What happened?" she asked.

"It's Papa" Mary picked her head up from Edith's shoulder and wiped her eyes. "I found him alone in the library crying. He was so…." She stopped and took a deep breath. "He needs Mama."

Edith nodded. "I know, I know."

Mary bit her lip. "I'm going back to bed."

"You'll…you'll be at breakfast?" Edith asked her sister.

Mary nodded and smiled slightly. "I wouldn't dream of leaving you alone down there."

"Thank you" Edith touched her sister's arm slightly and turned around and headed for the steps, passing her mother's bedroom. She stopped and put her ear to the door.

Straining slightly, she opened the door a crack quietly and heard her mother's soft sobs. Edith opened the door all the way and shut it quietly behind her. She walked over the bed, crawled into it beside her mom, and wrapped her arm around her mom's shoulders. The crying stopped. She felt her mom place her hand on her arm. Edith lay there for another hour or so before falling asleep.

DA

Mrs. Hughes had been patrolling the hallways later than usual, to ensure that all the staff was alright. She had stumbled across Daisy crying numerous times. She came down the steps and walked into the kitchen to see O'Brien sitting up. Thomas sat across from her and Anna next to him.

"Can't sleep?" Mrs Hughes asked.

Anna shook her head silently. O'Brien did not answer but continued to sew one of Cora's dresses. Mrs Hughes hadn't heard a word of complaint from O'Brien since Sybil's death. She merely went about her tasks quietly. Thomas, too, had not said much. Anna and Thomas formed a bond after that night and she didn't question when she found Thomas sitting in Anna's bedroom.

Mrs. Hughes sighed and turned away and walked back towards Mr. Carson's office. She stopped, however, when she noticed Mr. Carson leaning against the wall. She walked quickly over to him. "Mr. Carson?" She put a hand on his arm.

He turned to look at her, a pained expression on his face. "Mrs. Hughes. Everything in order?"

"Yes." She said. "Mr. Carson, what is it?"

He shook his head sadly and said nothing. She waited patiently, knowing that he would start speaking soon.

"It's Lord Grantham" he said after a few moments. "I was just helping him prepare for bed. It was like he was a small boy. Limp. He's hurting, Mrs Hughes" he took an unsteady breath inwards and Elsie instinctively put her hands over his again.

"We all are, Mr. Carson" she said gently. "We all are" she said again, more to herself than anyone in particular.

"I keep thinking what if you…" He started and then trailed off, shaking his head.

"What?" Mrs. Hughes asked him, her face registering conern. "What about me?"

"Never mind," he patted her hand gently.

"What is it?" She craned her neck up to look him in the face.

"I just keep thinking…" he started again and stopped. "I just keep thinking…what if you had been sick….what if you weren't here…" he stopped and looked down at his hands still clasped over hers. He looked back up at her after a few moments, tears glistening in his eyes. "The only thought more unbearable than Lady Sybil's death is the thought of you being gone."

Mrs Hughes, overcome with emotion, looked down at their hands still intertwined together. "I'm not going anywhere, Mr. Carson" she croaked out before looking back up at the butler.

And then, he drew her into his embrace.

DA

Violet walked into the library the next morning to find Robert sitting at his desk. A pile of papers sat in front of him, but he was staring out the window.

"Robert." Violet said as she ambled into the room. He looked over at her, his eyes red rimmed and dark circles beneath them. "We need to talk." She sat down on the couch.

"Yes, Mama?" Robert asked quietly.

"You need to speak with Cora." Violet stated simply.

Robert turned around and looked at her. "I've tried," he merely croaked out, after a few moments.

"No. No you haven't. Not really." Violet shook her head.

Robert looked back out the window. "She hates me. I killed our daughter."

"She does not hate you and you know it" Violet said, a little more sharply than she intended. "She's a mother. And she has just lost her child."

"But she was MY daughter too!" Robert suddenly exploded and Violet leaned back, surprised. "She was MY daughter too!" He stood up and started pacing. "My own flesh and blood! And I was so blind and ignorant that I didn't see it! I didn't SEE IT!" He was crying again, and Violet let him.

"I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HIM! WHY DIDN'T I? I LET MY DAMN IGNORANCE GET IN THE WAY!" He continued to shout as he paced in front of her. "AND NOW SHE'S DEAD! SHE'S DEAD! My daughter…..she's dead." He collapsed onto the chair in defeat.

"My darling boy," Violet got up and walked over to Robert. "Your guilt is normal. But you of all people know you are not to blame. Cora needs someone to blame right now and you, being closest to her, and in direct opposition, are the easiest target."

Robert sighed deeply and glanced up at his mother. "She won't speak to me, Mama. She won't speak to me." He put his head back in his hands.

"You have to meet her halfway," Violet said.

Robert sat in silence for a few moments. "What does that mean?" He asked. When there was no response, he picked his head up. His mother was gone.

DA

"May I hold her?" Cora asked Branson as she stepped into the nursery. Branson smiled and handed his daughter to Cora. Cora smiled and took the child from her. Branson was the only person in the entire household who had seen Cora smile in three weeks. She was a frequent visitor to the nursery and he welcomed her, as the only other person he believed equally shared his pain.

Cora took her granddaughter and sat down in the rocking chair. There was a silent knock at the door and Violet entered. "May I have a moment?" Violet asked Branson who nodded and left the room quietly.

"Cora, dear." Violet said. She sat down in a chair opposite Cora. "We need to talk."

Cora didn't respond but continued to stare down at baby Sybil. "You need to speak with Robert," Violet stated.

Cora looked up at Violet briefly, before looking back down at her granddaughter. "I don't want to speak with him."

"Cora, you have to. You need him."

"No. I don't." She said sharply, not lifting her head.

"Why not?"

"Because he did this." She replied, her tone still cold as ice. "He killed my baby. This is all his fault."

"Oh, really?" Violet chuckled dryly. "I don't recall him making a medical diagnosis."

"He listened to Sir Phillip. Against Dr. Clarkson's wishes. Dr. Clarkson would have taken her to the hospital. And she would still be alive." Cora did look up at her mother-in-law this time. While Violet expected to see malice in her eyes, she saw only despair.

"Sir Phillip did have more experience…" Violet mused. "You know when you were ill with the Spanish flu, Dr. Clarkson thought it was merely a cold."

Cora didn't respond.

"He thought Matthew would never walk again as well. And Sybil DID seem alright after she gave birth."

"Is this conversation going somewhere?" Cora replied again, sharply.

"Perhaps…you should consider Robert's pain," Violet said as she stood up slowly. "His daughter died too."

She walked slowly out of the room and Cora watched her go unable to respond.

DA

Robert stopped in front of the nursery. He knew she would be here. She was not in the bedroom. He raised his hand to knock and stopped abruptly when she walked out of the nursery. Shocked, he stood there with his fist still up. She blinked quickly, also shocked, and then merely turned around and walked by him.

"Cora, we must talk." Robert said, following her into their bedroom. Cora said nothing. She didn't care anymore. Why not let him say what he had to say?

Surprised that she didn't protest or try to stop him, he stopped as the door shut beside him. She turned around and looked at him. "Well?"

He took a deep breath. "Cora, I…." he stopped trying to think of what to say. "I want you to know that I understand that you think I'm to blame for Sybil's death. I wanted you to know that I am aware of it too."

Cora frowned slightly and said nothing.

"I ask that only that you…" He walked across the room and took her hands. She didn't take them away. He leaned over and kissed them. "I ask that you please not hate me" his voice was husky and his eyes glistened with tears as he looked down into her eyes. "I couldn't bear it."

Cora could feel her defenses wearing down. As hard as she tried her ability to stay angry was leaving her. She withdrew her hands from him. She needed her anger.

"I'm not sure." She said quietly and turned from him.

She thought he'd left when suddenly he began shouting and she jumped three feet in the air, turning around.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" He yelled. He was standing near the door to their bedroom. "I'M SORRY" his tears reappeared. "I killed our daughter! I did! I was just trying to save her and I killed her! I'm…you….it's easy to blame me because then you don't have to handle your grief!" He angrily wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "But I'm alone! I can't sleep without you, I can't LIVE without you! If you…." He stopped again and took a couple deep breaths. "I can't….you….YOU AREN'T BEING FAIR!" He let out another sob.

Cora's face contorted into one of anger. "How DARE you?! She shrieked. "OUR DAUGHTER IS DEAD AND YOU'VE MADE THIS ABOUT YOU!" Taken aback by the anger he watched her in shock. "Your EGO! You let your EGO get in the way of medicine! If you'd been LESS concerned with Sir Phillip's damn feelings and MORE concerned with our daughter's life she might still BE here!"

"He was more qualified than Dr Clarkson!" Robert interrupted. "He'd done this a MILLION times!"

"I don't CARE! My BABY is DEAD because of you!" She pointed a finger at Robert.

"She was MY daughter too!" Robert yelled. He took a step closer. "She was MY daughter TOO! Why can't you understand?!"

Cora took a few deep angry breaths in, temporarily unable to go on. Robert too stared at her for a few moments.

"I can't take this any longer," Cora said quietly. "I can't….I feel like the pain is eating me alive. Like a parasite." She looked down at her hands and then looked back up at him tears streaming down her face. "Why won't it go AWAY!" She wailed.

Robert took a step towards her but she took one back. "NO! And you….this…story of not being able to live without ME!" She sobbed. "Why would you EVER say THAT?!"

"Because it's TRUE!" Robert exclaimed as he walked towards her. She tried to take a step back again but he was too quick. He had her by the shoulders. "I LOVE you. So much sometimes that it hurts. You mean more to me than anything in the WORLD and I can't live without YOU" he shook her slightly as he said it. "And you know what I've learned? That I need to tell you EVERYDAY what you MEAN to me!"

Cora stared up at Robert for a second before taking her hands and pushing him away. "But I HAVE to stay angry at you!" She sobbed again. "IT HURTS LESS. IT HURTS LESS WHEN I HATE YOU. BUT I DON'T HATE YOU. I love you so much I feel like my heart will burst from it sometimes!"

Robert drew him to her and started to kiss her, any inch of her he could reach. Her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead, her ears, her nose.

"Darling, darling" she said and put her arms around his neck, clinging to him.

"Please. Please help me," he begged.

She withdrew from his embrace and put her hands on his face. "I will. I promise I will." She smiled a little through her tears. He drew her to him again.

Mary and Edith, standing on the other side of the door smiled at each other through their own tears.


End file.
